I graduated in 2005, and I did it all wrong. 

I only walked for my college ceremony, and I showed up in a polo and jeans, which was a mistake. Row upon row of guys in dress shirts and girls in slender dresses made me nervous, so I threw on the graduation gown and pulled the neck up as high as I could. I'd never graduated from college before, what the hell did I know?

What I didn't remember until I was walking up to the stage were my brand new Adidas shelltoes, classic sneakers in their own right, but ultimately brand new, white, and shining like a beacon under the hem of my graduation robe. So I grinned and crossed the stage, shaking the hands of my professors, until I got to the Dean of the college, who takes my hand and then pulls me in to say something into my ear. Here we go. 

Those shoes are awesome, man ... are they Adidas? Where'd you get them?

You're a pretty regular guy, College. Take it easy.