Conrad

This year was my first year attending SPX, and if this is any indication of how things normally go down here, it will most certainly not be my last.

Apparently, the SPX crowd has a bit of a long-standing tradition involving a karaoke bar in Rockville, MD, wherein all of the important comics people go for a night of drunken karaoke and general debauchery. I knew a couple people at this point, so I figured hey, why not tag along? Shortly after we showed up, however, everyone I arrived with left. This left me slightly confused, but mostly in need of some fast friends. Fortunately, the bartender (Diane, AKA: my booze angel) was more than happy to oblige.

I don't really remember how things got started, but by the end of the night, Diane and I had shared three firewaters, a "patriot" (I had to name it; it was red, white and blue), and some bad-tasting Korean sake. She also poured me 15 stoplights "for my friends", and made us two huge ones in martini glasses. All of this, I might add, was on the house. Worse yet? These were only the free drinks. Her rationale? "I just wanted to see you drunk."

Mission Accomplished, Diane. Mission Accomplished.